These are a few of the games I'm not playing.
I love my games library. It's... sizable - and I love the look on people's faces when they see it - but lately, when I open it up to fetch out a game I find myself struck by all the titles above, and more. All these wonderful games I encouraged you to check out, but which I generally stopped playing the instant the review was writ.
I have a shitload of games - and I never play them - and lately, when I open my library, it's starting to really bother me.
Whenever I have some time, I find myself playing the game(s) I should be playing. I'm playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma Plus and Shinobido 2 and Sumioni: Demon Arts on the Vita, 'cause I should get some reviews up for those... but I find I have no idea what I want to be playing.
It's not something I've asked myself in a long time.
Kayla's car lacks an MP3/audio jack, so I burn CDs for her. The latest one has a few tracks from Wet on it - which got me thinkin', I'd love to get back into that game. I found Bionic Commando for five bucks at EB the other day, and snagged that for her and her brother - I should give that a swing as well...
A friend at work, the other day, asked me if I was interested in being part of his Red Dead Redemption posse, and I looked at him like he was insane. "I can't," I told him, "I don't play the games I want to - I play the games I have to, so I can write about 'em for the blog."
...which is true. I don't think I've ever mentioned it in this space, but the blog is often a full-time job I work at after I come home from my actual job.
I play a ton of games, but - beyond that initial burst of playing them and moving on - I don't really get the chance to enjoy them. I'm not saying I take less pleasure in playing games - just that there are many, many games I wish I could snuggle down with and play, but don't have the time to.
I'm not trying to complain, here. This is a cage of my own design - I kept on pushing myself to write more and more reviews every year, to cover more and more - to have a more comprehensive, well-informed perspective on gaming. But that, it turns out, comes with a price.
It would be different if I was, say, retired. Or if playing and writing about games actually was my job - but between the actual job and this one, I just... don't have the time to enjoy my library as much as I'd like.
Lately I've found myself thinking about some unknowable time in the future, when I can just kick back and play through my PS3 library at a leisurely, pleasurable pace.
That time could be now.
I could be strolling through Resonance of Fate instead of scratching myself on the sharp, uncouth edges of Shinobido 2... and I have no idea why I'm not.
It's April 1st (no, this isn't an April Fools post - in case you were wondering) - three months into 2012 - and I've written twelve reviews. That's one review a week.
That's insane. I don't know how the fuck I did it ...and I don't know what I should do.
Despite my (perhaps foolish) ambitions, the blog is a comprehensive journal of my time with gaming. In that, at least, it's a success.
Were I to abandon my current tack and only purchase, play and review games I was absolutely dying to play - filling in the void elsewhere with game diaries and reflections and retrospectives as I backstroke through my library - it would remain such a journal.
It's just My Life in Gaming, really - no matter how many new reviews I try to bust out.
I don't know. Perhaps I'm just feeling selfish.